A Quarter Century Meltdown

I am a firm believer in the quarter life crisis. Mostly because I’m having one right now, but also because the mid twenties are a tumultuous time in one’s life. There are lots of different interest groups telling you to do lots of different (and often mutually exclusive) things all at once and sometimes it’s just plain overwhelming.

You have friends getting married and making life long commitments to one another while you can’t even commit to a six month lease.

There are careers to start that often have nothing to do with the subject that you painstakingly selected for a major in college because you thought it would determine your life path.

The world is full of opportunity for travel and adventure and a never ending list of places to see that all very inconveniently require funds that you can only get by having one of those “careers.”

You have friends to see, people to date, whiskey to drink, laundry to do, sleep to get, meals to cook, a house to clean, and according to your trusty biological clock, babies to have. It’s exhausting.

My usual coping mechanism involves some combination of my couch, bad television, a tortilla and butter based diet, and a complete mental shutdown.

Since that is hardly productive and I’m already a mess of “what are you doing with your life?” thoughts, I thought I’d try something new. So, if you’ll bare with me, I’ve written out a new game plan to myself:

Step 1: Write a blog post. You’ll feel productive and will have something tangible to look at and be proud of. Plus, your life is super exciting and you owe it to your readers to fill them in on every detail.

Step 2: Drink a big glass of water. You’ve already eaten every container of left-overs in the refrigerator, so you’re definitely not looking for food every time you leave your computer and go into the kitchen. Plus, there’s a 98% chance that you’re at least a little bit dehydrated, and drinking water helps your brain function.

Step 3: Make sure your environment is tidy. A sloppy living space translates into a cluttered mind. There’s a reason you’re neurotic about everything being in its place and I have a feeling those piles of papers and books and unwrapped power chords are bothering you more than you think.

Step 4: Create a prioritized to do list and go down the list in order. I’m pretty sure you learned in college that procrastination is not your friend.

Step 5: Look at your completed to do list and beam with pride. You’re such a grown up. Congratulations.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to roll up my sleeves and get my hands dirty. Time to pull myself up by the boot straps. Time to put the wind back in my sails. Time to stop procrastinating by quoting cliches in this blog post and get the next quarter of a century off to a good start. And if this doesn’t work, you can find me on the couch…

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