#icantreadyourrunonsentence

We have a new 15 year old intern at my office. Do you remember being 15? Because I had braces and wore a lot of Sketchers and if someone called my house after 9 p.m., my Dad answered and told them it was too late for me to accept phone calls. Apparently, that’s not what 15 year-olds are like these days.

During her introduction to the organization, it was mentioned she should “like” us on Facebook since she’ll be helping us manage our social media.

“Oh, I don’t have a Facebook,” she responded.

And as she explained why, it was like watching Dorothy dump a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West. Whatever delusions I had of my youth’s existence melted away right in front of me – hissing and screaming the whole way.

Let me fill you in – Facebook is for old people. The youth have snubbed Facebook to avoid cyber friendships with the likes of their parents and even grandparents. And besides, who needs to express themselves or share information with words? Snap a picture, throw a few pound signs in there, and you’ve just told everyone (that’s hip enough to understand your lack of a space bar) where you are, what you’re doing, and how awesome you are for being there and doing that.

seriously-what-is-a-hashtag_o_1361421

I have to admit that this sent me into a spiral. I’ve always been resistant to technology, but up until this tween stepped in, I was the youngest in the office and I felt suddenly desperate to reclaim my youthful position. That day, I spent 3 hours on Twitter (still can’t use it) and Instagram (are pictures of my garden cool?) giving myself a crash course in #whatshipthesedays. And apparently, what’s hip these days is not the English language. Abbreviations, acronyms, and confusing inflection convey all the information necessary. It’s like a secret foreign language like the one you made up with your best friend so you could talk about cute boys in front of them and they wouldn’t know it. Except everyone under the age of 22 can speak it.

It’s been a rough journey into the unknown this week, and it feels pretty unsettling to know that I can already see the incoming employment competition. They are terrifying for so many reasons. Chief among them is that their main form of communication is the modern day hieroglyphics. Just think of the language studies that scientists will be doing thousands of years from now.

#nolongeringthemtvdemographic, #ohrightim100yearsold, #instagramasasecondlanguage, #hastagsmakemecrosseyed

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10 thoughts on “#icantreadyourrunonsentence

  1. lol, you’ve just made my day! Confirming for me that at 42, I am more successful at staying “hip”, “youthful”, & “current” than my 20-something cousin! #thankyou!

  2. Awh, Kell! ๐Ÿ˜ I can definitely help you out here! You should spend more time with Jamie, as well! –Follow me on twitter! @shellbebangin & we can Skype, too! ๐Ÿ‘ #23isthenew15 #toocoolforschool #sorrynotsorry #poorkelly #mycousinisold ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜‚

  3. Nothing makes you feel older than knowing your sister only just graduated high school, meanwhile your 10 year reunion is coming up next year. Seriously. Oh, and also, I didn’t know twitter was still considered cool. I thought it was all about instagram and tumblr. Maybe facebook will improve if less young people are using it? ๐Ÿ˜›

    • I think Intagram and tumblr are totally the top two (though I’ve heard Vine is coming up). Twitter is just something I never learned about and it still confuses me! And I plan to completely avoid my 10 year reunion this year…

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